writing... and other forms of release

people usually pursue a form of release from the stresses they face. Some examples include writing, music, sports, sleeping, talking, or other hobbies. they usually default to the one that they're good at because it gives them confidence. when you dump all of the emotion into something and you are pleased with the end result, you have that feeling of satisfaction.

who wants to go play sports when they're stressed if they're not good at sports? it just compounds to the stress. some would argue its just a different kind of stress and they'd like the change. no thanks. i'd usually rather trade stress for no stress.

however there is one athletic form of stress release i'll pursue. its trading one form of stress for another. its snowboarding. when i'm snowboarding, i focus so much on boarding that i dont think much about other problems. that, and sometimes i'm just so concentrated on not dying that i dont have time to think about anything else.

some stress relief avenues temporarily distract our minds from the things that stress us. other things, (like for me, writing) helps us see the stressors clearer and that can lower the stress level.

but what really frustrates me is when i try to write to express myself, but the words dont come out. or there are gaps in the written thoughts that dont capture the entire picture. there's not a whole lot more i can do to try and release those thoughts, feelings and emotions. and they cant stay in my head. they gotta get out somehow. maybe i should try abstract drawing. normal drawing only stresses me out more because i cant make things look the way they're supposed to look.

the other ways i can find those feelings of release, although not as intensely, are snowboarding and talking with people. i cant do snowboarding year round and i havent found another affordable alternative. skydiving was a good method, although super expensive. talking with people usually helps cause it forces things out, but i usually have such a hard time getting words out that i get frustrated that i cant convey my thoughts to people accurately. plus, when you happen to be talking to someone who just wants to fix your problem rather than empathize, its lame.

ok, so, this blog is super unorganized. and thats how my writing comes out sometimes. and i dont wanna take the time to sort it all out. sometimes my writing and my thoughts fit together perfectly like a little puzzle. but other time its just a bunch of pieces scattered that are somewhat related but not put together very well.

Talking to the dog...sorta

I feel like that little girl on that old LDS commercial where she tries to show a picture she made to her mom and her dad. No one will take the time to listen to her. So she shows her picture to the dog. I wanted to talk to my mom this morning. She was sick. I wanted to talk to another friend of mine this morning about running. We didn't have time for that in the conversation. So here I am talking to my blog.

I started running in the middle of May. I ran 6 days a week on my mission for exercise. I learned to like it. I came home and planned to keep running. However, Utah has a much higher altitude than New York, so I quit running quickly due to the fact that it was harder. I was not up for the challenge at that point. Fast forward to a year later. I've been wanting to do something for exercise. I liked running. I just needed a motivation. So I went and bought some running shoes. That got me excited. Most of my running shoes have been hand-me-downs so I was thrilled that these were MY shoes. Bran new. I had a pair of nikes in jr high and a pair of sauconys in high school but yeah. Anyway.

So then I got this idea that I would train for a 5k. On the mission I decided I wanted to do a bike race. When I came home from my mission, my friend Kristina was training for a triathalon. I have this tendency for always wanting to do what Kristina does (we were locker partners a lot in school, I followed her to Weber, lived in the same apartment complex as her, went on a mission just like she did) so here I am thinking, oh a triathalon seems cool, I want to train for that some time. I also have had an admiration for my aunt, who at the age of about 40, ran a marathon. That has been in the back of my mind as well. So here I am training for my 5k in July. Its not a very long race and one wouldnt think a lot of training is necessary for that short of a race. But for me, its a goal. And that goal has motivated me to push myself a little. There is no way I'd just go out and run longer than 5 minutes if I didnt have a goal to work toward.

I run on the streets of Provo. I dont like running on a track or treadmill because I dunno, it just seems too fake. Predictable? But one thing I dont like about running on the streets (aside from the occasional air pollution) is that its harder to track how fast I am running. I am figuring out how to do that now, but it has taken me a few weeks. When I first started running, I didnt care about speed--just distance. But now I am concerned with both. Today I calculated I am running roughly 5 mph. I'd like to be running around 6 mph. However, some of my daily runs include hills, so there is the potential that I might be a little faster if I wasnt running up hills part of the time.

The first week I started running, day one included a .5 mile jog. Day two was like .75 miles. Haha here I am a little over a month later and my "normal run" is 2.4 miles and this Saturday, my long run will be 3 miles. After the 5k, I'd like to be able to continue to slowly increase my distance. I'd like to be able to go do a 10 mile run and have it be a fairly decent workout but nothing that kills me (psychologically, physically, aerobically). And maybe if I continue to increase my distance in little increments, I could do a half marathon next summer. Or even a full marathon? Wow thats crazy to think.

So today I ran 2.4 miles in the morning. I feel so good throughout the day. I noticed when I was running shorter distances, I wouldnt get that same good feeling. My heart feels happy. Thats a good way to describe it. I dont know why I have to run longer than the standard 20 minutes to get that feeling. I think this is the feeling people are supposed to get after 20 minutes of exercise to get that cardio workout. But for me, it takes just a little longer. But it feels great.

Bubba's Resume

Sometimes correct spelling just doesn’t matter…

My Resimay    To hoom it mae cunsern, I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I kin Type realee qwik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the fone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole realee seam to reespond too me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not too good but find that I Offen can get a job wit my persinalety.  

My salerery is open so we kin discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I kin start emeditely.  Thank yoo in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

Bubba

PS: Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me. 

  

 

 Employer's response:.... 
Dear Bubba,

It's OK, we've got spell check.
See you Monday.