Sunday, March 8, 2009

He goes on dates every weekend...and they're not with you

This a blog I drafted about 3 weeks ago when I saw He's Just Not That Into You. I decided to just post the draft as it is.

I've had a lot of experiences over the past month that have helped me recognize when a guy’s not into me. A lot of guys have come into my path lately who are nice…just not into me. But I kept making various excuses like “oh he’s busy” or “he’s shy” or (the best one “he just got off the mission and is adjusting.” (p.s. don’t even go there) The list goes on and on.

The truth is, if he’s interested in you, he’ll call. He’ll make it happen. No matter what. Even if he is shy. He’ll still put forth effort. I’ve talked about this discovery with a few of my friends the past week or two and they are happy for me in making this discovery but I know at the back of their minds, they are thinking “duh Katie.”

From all of this I made the conclusion that it is easy to tell if a guy is into you. This conclusion literally came last week. And I’ve decided to quit trying to read into things that are not. I tell myself “he’s not into you. Don’t read into it. Don’t do all the work” And last weekend I went snowboarding with some friends. I didn’t bother with trying to figure out if one of them liked me and to be honest, I had a great time. I could have ruined a perfectly fun snowboard trip with trying to figure out if someone (who is not interested) is interested. No thank you.

Today, my roommate and I went to see the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. I liked the point of the story. It reinforced a lot of what I’ve experienced the past month.

Its easy for us to look at these scenarios in third-person and say “hello!? Can’t you see he’s just not into you?” but we’ve all been in these scenarios first-person where we aren’t interpreting the signs correctly. Plus our friends ALWAYS feed us stories about how their cousin’s best friend’s niece had the same experience and now they are married. Nearly everyone I've talked to who has seen this movie relates to at least one experience or character.

The movie asks you, “are you the rule or the exception to the rule?” and it determines to prove this girl is the rule. Then at the end, she becomes the exception to the rule. The truth is…our lives are so unique. No two lives are exactly the same. Yet we look for reassurance in comparing similar experiences and hoping for similar outcomes. How many of us take a class at school and finish with the exact same end grade percentage? We want there to be these absolute truths, these rules to live by. These scenarios that worked for someone else, so it will make our lives easier if they apply to us as well. But the truth is…these rules are personal and catered to each person. Just because it worked for her doesn’t mean it will work for you. You just need to follow your heart and do what feels right for you.

The movie had some good messages but those messages were wrapped around a lot of unnecessary trash. I really related to some of the scenarios and felt especially connected to the film because of my experiences over the past month. My roommate appreciated the fact that the girl started to respect herself more, even if meant more time by herself.

The experiences I really related to were the fact that Gigi had a hard time understanding the signals (of un-interest) that guys would send to her. She would try real hard to "coincidentally" run into a guy she liked. She would do all the work of trying to get dates.

Well, I don't have a good transition to end this blog so...yeah. And its funny that I had to write a rough draft for this blog….

No comments:

Post a Comment