Wednesday, August 26, 2009

writing... and other forms of release

people usually pursue a form of release from the stresses they face. Some examples include writing, music, sports, sleeping, talking, or other hobbies. they usually default to the one that they're good at because it gives them confidence. when you dump all of the emotion into something and you are pleased with the end result, you have that feeling of satisfaction.

who wants to go play sports when they're stressed if they're not good at sports? it just compounds to the stress. some would argue its just a different kind of stress and they'd like the change. no thanks. i'd usually rather trade stress for no stress.

however there is one athletic form of stress release i'll pursue. its trading one form of stress for another. its snowboarding. when i'm snowboarding, i focus so much on boarding that i dont think much about other problems. that, and sometimes i'm just so concentrated on not dying that i dont have time to think about anything else.

some stress relief avenues temporarily distract our minds from the things that stress us. other things, (like for me, writing) helps us see the stressors clearer and that can lower the stress level.

but what really frustrates me is when i try to write to express myself, but the words dont come out. or there are gaps in the written thoughts that dont capture the entire picture. there's not a whole lot more i can do to try and release those thoughts, feelings and emotions. and they cant stay in my head. they gotta get out somehow. maybe i should try abstract drawing. normal drawing only stresses me out more because i cant make things look the way they're supposed to look.

the other ways i can find those feelings of release, although not as intensely, are snowboarding and talking with people. i cant do snowboarding year round and i havent found another affordable alternative. skydiving was a good method, although super expensive. talking with people usually helps cause it forces things out, but i usually have such a hard time getting words out that i get frustrated that i cant convey my thoughts to people accurately. plus, when you happen to be talking to someone who just wants to fix your problem rather than empathize, its lame.

ok, so, this blog is super unorganized. and thats how my writing comes out sometimes. and i dont wanna take the time to sort it all out. sometimes my writing and my thoughts fit together perfectly like a little puzzle. but other time its just a bunch of pieces scattered that are somewhat related but not put together very well.

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